You have all heard the clichés: follow your dream, or your passion, this is the usual half baked shit that people feed you your whole life when you reach out and ask for their guidance. What you don’t know is they are setting you up for failure – not because they are wrong – but because they are leaving out a crucial fact: before you follow your dream you have to figure out what it actually is.
In reality every person wants something out of life, but we as a culture focus way too much on what the something is instead of the want that is driving us to get it. If you want to figure out what you want in life then look at what is motivating you not the story your mind has created to understand the feeling. That drive that moves deep inside you is what creates the dream in the first place.
Now for a controversial idea: our main responsibility in life is to fulfil whatever this deep drive is demanding of us, this is the real meaning of following your passion.
This funny idea of free will makes us think that we can choose our passion, and that we somehow control what we want. This is a denial of our true nature, we are animals, and we know that animals have no choice over their inner passion to hunt or graze.
An animal’s instincts decide what their dreams are for them: why would us humans be any different?
I know the logic of this argument may make you feel like I took away your “uniqueness” or your “specialness”, but don’t worry little snowflake – I’ll give that back in a second. You see we all have this inner drive that is energizing us to dream and reach for the stars – now let’s imagine that that inner drive is actually a person living inside of you who is trying to express themselves.
Think back to the animals, their instinctive drives all push them to become the strongest and most badass creature in the jungle. If they weren’t pushed to be the best then Nature would kill them off. Why would your deep inner drive be any different?
That want that is alive within you is a stronger, better, and more powerful version of who you already are, and it wants you to bring it into existence. You could even say all people have an individual mission in this life which is to realize their deepest wants.
Now I’m not talking about those nonsense wants that marketers use to play you like a puppet, like those wants that come in bright colours and sugary flavours. I’m talking about the real wants.
…But I guess you don’t know what you really want.
They never teach you that do they? What you really want?
I guess there is a reason, because when the real want triggers a feeling in your heart, by the time it reaches your conscious mind it has passed through all the weird filters and programs that are running in your brain.
Your heart might tell you that you want freedom, and by the time it reaches your fore-conscious mind it reads as: I WANT THAT PAIR OF SUNGLASSES I SAW ON BRAD PITT IN FIGHT CLUB THAT ALLEGORICALLY REPRESENT ME AS A FREE SPIRIT.
Judas brain – let me ask you this: So you want to know how to figure out what you want in life?
Well here’s your answer: the greatest obstacle is actually about discovering the true nature of your want.
Of all things it’s actually about learning.
How To Know What You Want
The single process that undermines all human life is learning about who you are. To become what you are you are really going to have to be a good learner, but why?
You can look in the mirror and figure out what you look like, and record your voice and figure out what you sound like, but the most deep measure of who you are is more about what you can do.
Can you climb a mountain? Can you show someone love? Can you create beautiful music? Can you fight? Can you run for president and succeed? Can you win a race? Can you pass an exam?
The achievements themselves actually matter very little, because all you are doing is exploring your limits, like you are a blind man trying to imagine what your own body is shaped like by feeling all your limbs and building a picture in your head.
Who you are when in danger, when performing, or when facing reality gives you a deep insight into what you are, and people will do the strangest things just to see what they themselves are made of, and not surprisingly, that real want within you is pushing you seek these limits, as beating these obstacles makes you stronger.
Before you learn what you really want you will misinterpret your passion and all your dreams will – instead of guiding you like they should – coax you down paths that will make it impossible for you to ever be happy or useful to this world.
So if you are out on the journey of life – which I assume you are – and are wondering how to figure out what you want – go challenge yourself. Go fight in a boxing match, go take up meditation, go start a business. See what you’re made of, and somewhere along the line you will begin to see the limits that you really want to overcome.
These explorations will reveal to you some of the amazing things that you already are and that you could be. Among them you may find a route, or path of discipline, which will just simply be what you want.
If you are able to recognise and commit to this opportunity your life will become an adventure and weird ideas like success and happiness will make a lot sense to you than before. You will begin to feel like everything that is not important has no value and is easy to sacrifice.
Well the hard work has only begun.
How To Get What You Want
When we discover what we really want, which many people never do, we have to learn the skills needed to realize it. This is when we start shaping ourselves into the person who could get the things we really want, and become the strongest version of who we are.
When what we want and how bad we want it shapes us into a more powerful creature, we then can achieve things that we never believed were possible. Soon after we may begin to achieve things others thought were not possible.
As soon as these successes start piling up you become a competent performer. As more and more skills start stacking up on top of each other the visions can then start evolving to become even grander.
When the individual triumphs at this level, they benefit the whole of society. A great athlete will inspire younger athletes, and often great businessmen give large portions of their fortune to charity.
I believe that our real wants are good and is always an addition to the world. Through fulfilling our wants we can become a positive asset to society and a benevolent force in the tide of history.
The main obstacles to all this are ignorance of what we really want, laziness to discover what our limits are, and the fear of failing that prevents us from trying.
These three human flaws are the true root problems to all our social issues, and conveniently are also the greatest obstacles a person has to conquer to achieve what they want.
When you don’t become aware of your ignorance, beat your laziness, and tame your fear, these three forces steer your life like winds.
I feel that learning is the true weapon that will help you at every stage of this journey, and this is why I have built this website.
No matter what direction you go, the resources I have built here should help you, because how you use your mind and your body to learn and perform will most definitely be the crucial aspect of your success.