We are all sitting on the floor in a large hallway in front of a strong female figure who is our director and teacher for some form of writing seminar. I am lying beside a girl and we are flirting and touching each other.
This director begins to eliminate us down by the process of elimination, and while doing this she asks a question to a group of foreigners but they can not answer.
She the moves on to the next stage of the process, which involves trials, one of which is washing out our hairstyles in order to neutralize our personalities.
While this happens I discuss with the director how everything is actually dead and that the only thing that makes a cell different from a stone is a strange animating principle we call life.
We are soon reduced to four people. I stand up to go to the bathroom through exit to the left which opens into a hallway. I see a door with a gold platter displaying the name of a famous writer who was having a movie produced. I read a banner which says that the film is called “wild flowers – orchard”.
Then I walk into the bathroom and unzip my trousers to begin urinating. A terrible eerie feeling grips me and I begin looking around as I feel terribly exposed. Down the hall I see two dolls who look like the character from The Grudge.
They are staring at me. I begin urinating.
23 – June – 2015
“In this dream the dominance of the director and the severity of the initiation, ala neutralizing our personalities through hair washing, drew powerful emotions. I felt like I was being blooded into a craft, which was writing in the context of this dream.
The comment I made to the director carries great weight for me. This observation is about how a stone and a body are both made of atoms, but the way the atoms are organised in the body create the phenomenon we call life. This life phenomenon is an organizing principle which can then take the stone and turn it into something like a bridge.
In this is the fundamental goal of mastering a craft: to hone your abilities to create something organised out of the dead matter lying around you. The initiation of deleting my personality seems to be what is necessary in order to grow as a creator: you must submit your personality to your craft.
The fear I got when urinating may have been an allegory, for how I’ll feel envious and begrudged towards the successful and famous creators if I fail, and that I’ll fail if I spend too much time pissing about.”